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The Man
Name: Mohamed Hafiz. A.k.a Fizzy Age: As you get older, you realise age doesn't matter. 23 if u still want to know.
Groooove
Speak to me =)
Read them
Haikal Iz Syaq Black Effy Anne Ameer Fana Yazid Azlin Helmi MADDY! Desiree Yilei Timon Shira |
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Thursday, July 27, 2006
Today didn't start skool on a high. Wani was angry at me early in the morning. Well,will elaborate more on that later. Effy had an accident today. Is "batted" him accurately(amazing man) on his nose bridge. Now he got this two cool scars there. I still dunno what u dun like abt it though effy. Haha. Well, all's well ends well after that. When I took the bus to go to skool today, i met my old time crush, A girl by the name of Suhaila. I still remembered clearly, i was in Sec 3. I knew her from the religious class that i attended, always looked at her but shy to get to know her. All that changed when she joined my Secondary skool. I remebered my first time being mesmerized by her. I was getting my first public cane(not something to be proud of) and she was sitting in front of the hall as she was in sec 1. Although i didn't notice it at first, i realised that, she was actually looking at me with a look of care. How i know this i dunno but we gazed into each other's eyes and at that moment of time, i didn't feel the pain of the cane(but it hurt like hell after that). It took another 2 months for us to meet again. You were cheering for the skool soccer team. And i was there to watch the match too. Although my friends were all there with me, you still went to me and said the first word. I totally fell in love with you at that moment. The courage you had was something i couldn't forget. You were a normal technical student which i couldn't understand why because you are well balanced in the clever and smart section. We got to know each other more, going out together, study together and even kinda dated together. But you were afraid. You never gave "us" a chance. Firstly because you couldn't accept me who i was. I wasn't the cool type in my skool. I was the every bit of a loner in skool. Mainly because of my laid back attitude last time but you saw everything of me. My kindness and my love. But pride got in your way. You told me, that you love me but you need time. I gave you time. And with more time that i give you, the more you started to fade away. You started to hang with me less, you started to be ignorant towards me. That hurt me a lot, you could have just rejected me and get me over with but instead, u left me to bleed on the fence. Not dying and not living either. Though not close anymore, we still managed to chat up on times and update each other on our lives. I got Adel, And you got Zin. 1 and a half years later, you came crying to me. Telling me abt how Zin has betrayed you, your trust and your love. You came crying and begging me, to love you. To show what it is to be happy and free. I was very tempted to be with you. But my philosophy of love is to never betray and to always be faithful. It took a lot of me to reject you. After that i totally ignored you til i graduated. The break up between me and adel happened on the 14/3/05. I thought that maybe it was time to get back to you. Catch up on times and maybe a new chapter. What i got instead was your lies and your ego. You went around telling your friends how i betrayed you and that i took advantage of you. You told them that i was the one who didn't give us the chance. I stopped thinking abt you after that. Not giving a thought. I became someone new. Someone better. I met Wani. I started to love her and then you came to my skool. And you acted like nothing happened and approached me. We talked and i could still see why i loved you back then. You told me that i have changed. You told me that i looked better and that i am much more different than what i used to be. Well, we didn't talk much to each other until this morning in the bus. You apologised to me and cried on my shoulder. For doing what you did and regretted not giving me a chance. You told me how jealous you are that i'm with wani. You told me that we should be together now and that you missed me a lot. You held my hand to show that you care. Sadly for you, i'm not moved. I felt no care and tenderness in your touch, i didn't get hurt when i see you around and i don't care much abt you anymore. You're just a ghost of my past. And i know you will read this. So this is my plead to you. Leave me alone. I have met someone whom is a class of her own. She loved me for who i AM. You didn't. And that is one big difference. And hani, don't be jealous. She is the past. You're the present and hopefully, the future. And dun be angry or hate her. She doesn't deserve it. She has helped me a lot and i would really appreciate it if u just try to imagine that she doesn't exist. After all, She's half the reason that made me what i am today. The other half, Well, Adel's another story then Cos i'm not angry tired or sore More of a man than i was before Is this the cause i'm looking for I plead forgive me Cos i'm no martyr Is this the cause that i'm looking for You're not the cause i'm looking for I purposely made it black so that those who are interested in my history story can read it by highlighting it..And su..Read it..
Nihil Sine Nefas | |