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The Man
Name: Mohamed Hafiz. A.k.a Fizzy Age: As you get older, you realise age doesn't matter. 23 if u still want to know.
Groooove
Speak to me =)
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Haikal Iz Syaq Black Effy Anne Ameer Fana Yazid Azlin Helmi MADDY! Desiree Yilei Timon Shira |
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Sunday, September 17, 2006
Today went out to watch iz perform and after that to ayn's chalet. The chalet was good and so is the food. But something happened there that really made me lose my cool. For the first time, my patience failed me. Anger and sadness was totally in me. I didn't wanna be alone but i didn't anyone to get involved either. So i decided to bare it alone. Thinking that it was the best thing to do. But all i got in the end was a slap from a friend and worriness from others. I guess it just doesn't matter what happens and what decisions i made. Either way, I lose in that situation so yea. A slap is definitely worth it. I'm sorry Syak,Fana,Effy,Linds,Ameer and Ayn. I guess i was immature for my age to let my emotions take control of me. But i'm glad. It shows my imperfectness. It shows my flaws. It shows that i'm still not a better man. And after such a long time, i tasted blood in my mouth. The wake up call was great. As for you. I dunno what to say. You make me feel happy and Sad at the same time. And today, the first time after almost one year of dating you, i went ballistic. My patience went dry for you today. A simple advice of eat before we go out was left on deafening ears. I know you. You start to throw tantrum and show your fucked up face when you get hungry. And guess what, i was right enough. And you even have the cheek to tell me that you're angry because you're hungry. Secondly, You don't understand me. You say you do but you don't. You never had. You're only psyched abt hatred and never felt any compassion for me. When i say i'm reminded of somebody, it's not because i want to make you get hurt or for you to start SWEARING at them like they are some kind of low life creature, it means i wanna show you the scars of my life that i need to heal. I've been toyed, spitted on, played on, cheated on and wadeva vocabular words you can find that fits the bill by girls. You have no idea how hurt i got. Just because i'm smiling and laughing, doesn't mean that i'm not hurt or don't remember how it feels to be hurt. Lastly, what's up with you and blaming me for every stupid things that i do with my frens? You said you wanted me to be free and be myself, i wanted to go to the beach with Fana and Syak, two of my close friends and what i get in the end was nothing but your lecture of uncorrect philosophy. The chalet was AYN'S FAMILY chalet. WE are HER FRIENDS. NOT FAMILY. So we can do wadeva we want as long as we don't interfere them. Sigh, but in the end, Seeing you cry was never the thing i wanted. WHY OH WHY. Why do you seem to always know how to break me into two. How do you keep breaking what's left of my heart without putting a stop to it's beatings. The same heart that beats for you. Why do u think of nothing but killing yourself when things go wrong between us. Are you trying to chain me up to you? Lemme make one thing clear. I'm with you now because i LOVE you and you don't have to chain me up to you. I HATE IT!!!!!!!! I REALLY HATE YOU SOMETIMES!!!!! But in the end, it is you that makes me feel great abt myself. It is you that makes me strong to face another day. For you, i missed my last bus. For you, i put your safety before mine. Walking from clementi to my hse is not a task that many ppl would wanna do but i did it. I walked, under the pouring rain, from clementi to my hse for you. I do it for the person i love. So pls Nur Syazwani. Dun take my love for granted. I really hope you don't. In the end, i found the people that i can truly reveal everything to. Only three people that i trust and really rely on. F.I.S.H 140906
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