|
|
The Man
Name: Mohamed Hafiz. A.k.a Fizzy Age: As you get older, you realise age doesn't matter. 23 if u still want to know.
Groooove
Speak to me =)
Read them
Haikal Iz Syaq Black Effy Anne Ameer Fana Yazid Azlin Helmi MADDY! Desiree Yilei Timon Shira |
| spacer! |
| Big Guns! | |
|
Wednesday, February 28, 2007
Read the last post? Well..Screw it. Something happened on that day and now i'm single. A lot of things happened lately. I don't wanna elaborate on it but trying to take the break up was already bad and now i have other things to worry about too. And a person made me realise that, i have been having break ups on my anniversary date. Hit me hard on the face man. The fact that it happened on those dates. PHOBIA. I think for now, a single life will cure away all this scars and give me back the energy, the lust to be exact, to be in love. I've been sitting in front of the mirror. Looking at my reflection with disgust and and i keep cursing myself. Every now and then, i keep looking at the photo of you and me on the mirror. With each glance, a new question pops into my mind, leaving all the questions before unanswered. Were the smiles real? Was I the fault? Did i made a mistake somewhere that made you this way? All this questions is making me weep. Yes. In the "safety" of my own home, i weep. I cry. And i walk around aimlessly trying to find something to do. What is it about comfort that makes you remember all those memories. Alas, from love, it turns to anger towards you. And i knew, when the anger stops, i will miss you. And the determination i have to stay away from you will lessen. I can feel it now. It's like a rat is nibbling on the chain and had find a weak spot. Sooner or later, i will weep more. I hate this. I don't like to be this way. That's why i turn to friends. I turn to family. But at the rate things are going now. I can't rely on my family. They are wonderful but i just can't seem to confide in them. My brothers, i'm sorry. I don't want to get you people involved. I don't want to keep going to you people to help me. You have helped me enough. So thank you haikal and timon. I'll try to handle this myself and go through this alone like i did with Adelene. It'll be hell for the next few weeks and months. People are baffled. They asked me "Why are you so happy after a break up? Shouldn't you be sad?" The answer is simple. I smile and laugh when i'm around people. I try my fucking best to smile. It's not easy. Every couple that i see, hurts me. I am just the type that doesn't show how i feel. Only the "comfort" of my home will i just let it out. I am crying on the inside so much. I am tired. So very very tired. Both emotionally and physically. FOR YOU FOR YOU
Nihil Sine Nefas | |