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The Man
Name: Mohamed Hafiz. A.k.a Fizzy Age: As you get older, you realise age doesn't matter. 23 if u still want to know.
Groooove
Speak to me =)
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Haikal Iz Syaq Black Effy Anne Ameer Fana Yazid Azlin Helmi MADDY! Desiree Yilei Timon Shira |
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Wednesday, February 21, 2007
This is the truth and nothing but the truth. Knowing that i'm 20 this year, I suddenly turned emo. Unbelievable. I mean, i thought i knew what emo means but crying out of sudden when you are playing dota? That's like psycho or something. I dunno, maybe when you realise you are 20, you tend to think more about your life and start to treasure people around you more. But hell, to cry about it? I thought i was the only one, but seeing how timon and haikal is going through it too, it gives me comfort a little. Ok, it just makes me think that i'm no psycho or something. I suddenly thought about things. 20 years already. Time flies so fast. It's like i missed something. Something that i haven't done yet. I dunno what it is and i dun think i'll ever find out. Shitty fuck. I still can't believe half of my lifetime is GONE!!! And things that i've done in the past are coming back to haunt me. Adel, friends, betrayal, break ups, loyalty, life and some deaths that i have met. I'm lost. Life is like a big city and i'm lost inside it. Where to turn? Which to trust? Where to settle?..I'm so not ready.. I miss those times. Crossing the road at the zebra crossing and holding up my hands. Playing games with Haikal. Play soccer. Meet up with friends. Where the world doesn't matter. Now.....It's so different now.... Letting go of you was hard. It never was easy. I spent two years with you. And although there were so many lies, there was no doubt i treasured u and i loved you dearly. I wish we could start over but we gave each other scars so deep, it is impossible. Until now i wonder how you are. I wish we could talk but talking will only hurt me more. Somebody deneuralyze me. I HAVE TO BLOCK OUT THOUGHTS OF YOU SO I DON'T LOSE MY HEAD THEY CRAWL IN LIKE A COCKROACH AND LEAVING BABIES IN MY BED DROPPING REELS OF TAPE TO REMIND ME OF WHAT I'VE DONE PLAYING MOVIES IN MY HEAD OF THE TIMES WE SHARED ALONE THERE'S A BURNING IN MY PRIDE, A NERVOUS BLEEDING IN MY HEAD I WAS SOBER FOR 3 WHOLE MONTHS IT'S ONE ACCOMPLISHMENT THAT YOU HELPED ME WITH THE ONE THING THAT ALWAYS TORE US APART IS THE ONE THING I WON'T TOUCH AGAIN IN MY SICK WAY I WANT TO THANK YOU FOR HOLDING MY HEAD UP LATE AT NIGHT WHILE I WAS BUSY WAGING WAR WITH MYSELF, YOU WERE TRYING TO STOP THE FIGHT. AND WITH A SAD HEART I SAY GOODBYE TO YOU AND WAVE KICKING SHADOWS IN THE STREET FOR EVERY MISTAKE I MADE AND LIKE A BABY BOY, I WAS NEVER A MAN UNTIL I SAW YOUR EYES CRY AND I HELD YOUR FACE IN MY HANDS JUST TO MAKE HER SMILE COME BACK AND SHINE LIKE IT USED TO BE BUT ALL I GOT WAS "HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME" HATE ME TODAY HATE ME TOMORROW HATE ME FOR ALL THE THINGS I DIDN'T DO FOR YOU HATE ME IN WAYS THAT IS HARD TO SWALLOW HATE ME SO YOU CAN FINALLY SEE WHAT'S GOOD FOR YOU
Nihil Sine Nefas | |